Naked Truths
by these-words-are-my-own
Summary: Kurt calls Blaine to rant about a naked Brody and Blaine unintentionally gives the glee guys a peek into his private life. Missing scene from 'Naked' in my "Little Talks" 'verse.


Disclaimer: I own nothing (unfortunately).

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It was early in the morning and Blaine was heading towards the locker room to meet up with the glee guys when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket indicating an incoming call.

"Why good morning beautiful!" Blaine crooned into the receiver.

"Oh my god Blaine, you will not _believe_ what has happened to me this morning!" Kurt answered back, and from his tone Blaine could tell that he was more than a little pissed.

"What happened? Is everything okay?"

"No! There I was this morning, sitting down to a nice bowl of cereal, when I look over and there is Brody, sitting in one of MY vintage flea market chairs BUTT NAKED!"

Blaine stopped dead in his tracks. "He what?!"

"I know right?! I didn't know what to do! I didn't know where to _look_! His bare ass was on my chair Blaine!"

Blaine's nose scrunched up in sympathetic disgust as he continued walking. "That was really rude of him."

"Tell me about it! No amount of disinfectant is going to sanitize that chair! I'm just going to have to burn it!"

"Don't you think that's going a little _too_ far?" Blaine asked.

"No! I can never look at that chair again, let alone _sit_ in it without thinking of him in it." Blaine could hear Kurt physically shudder over the line. "As far as I'm concerned, besides my own, the only other bare ass allowed on _my_ chairs, is yours."

"Aw honey, I'm flattered," Blaine said with a grin as he pushed open the door to the locker room. At Kurt's little intake of breath over the phone, Blaine had a feeling that if Kurt was in front of him right now, he would be able to see a little light bulb go off on top of his head.

"That's actually a great idea! Next time you're here, _you_ should walk around the apartment naked! If Rachel's boyfriend can walk around in the nude, why can't mine?"

"Kurt, I am not going to walk around your apartment naked just so we can show up Rachel and Brody."

Sam, Artie, Joe, Jake and Ryder, all who were already in the locker room getting ready, whipped their heads around when they heard Blaine's last sentence. At Sam's quirked eyebrow, Blaine waved his hand in a 'just forget about it' gesture as he headed toward his locker. Unfortunately it was within both eye and ear shot of the other boys, so he didn't have the privacy he wanted.

Kurt was still talking. "Pity. It would have been really nice to stick it to Brody. He thinks he's such a _big_ shot. You _definitely_ would have taken him down a peg if you know what I mean."

Blaine turned his face to hide his blush at Kurt's innuendo. "Thanks. Did you talk to Rachel about it? Maybe she can talk to Brody if you don't want to."

"Ugh, don't get me started on Rachel. The things she said this morning..."

"Why, what happened this time? What did she say?"

Blaine swore there was a moment of hesitation in Kurt's voice before he replied. "Oh it was nothing more than the usual. I swear she's becoming more and more insufferable. It's like sophomore year all over again, before we were friends." Kurt inhaled deeply, before loudly exhaling. "Anyway, I'm sorry for bothering you so early."

"That's okay; you know you can call me any time of day or night. And besides, I'm already at school. The guys are having a before-school 'broga' session to prepare for the photo shoot."

"Oh, _that's_ right, the Men of McKinley calendar. You'll have to send me one when it's done – you know, gotta support you going to Regionals and all."

Blaine grinned. "Yeah right. You just want to ogle our goodies."

"And what kind of half-way decent gay guy would I be if I _didn't _have a calendar of half-naked men hanging up on my wall?" Kurt teased. "Honestly, I'm not really interested in seeing the others – I just wanna see yours."

"Kurt, if you wanted pictures of me half-naked all you had to do was ask," Blaine replied then winced, instantly regretting it. Not because he was ashamed of talking sexy with his boyfriend – he had just forgotten that he wasn't alone in the locker room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw every head once again swing towards his direction so fast he swore they should have all got whiplash. He deliberately turned his back on them as he opened his locker, pretending he didn't notice how they were all suddenly paying a lot more attention.

"Well, I should probably let you get back to it then," Kurt said. "Have fun with your 'broga' class."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too. Sexy Santa," Kurt added cheekily.

Blaine rolled his eyes as he hung up. He knew he should never have told Kurt about what Tina had called him – he could practically hear how wide Kurt's grin was. Peering around his locker, he was faced with two Cheshire Cat's of his own. Sam and Artie were in front of him, arms folded and sly grins across their faces as the rest of the guys tried to hide their own.

"What?" Blaine asked, throwing a hint of warning in his voice. A warning that was completely ignored.

"Oh nothing," Sam said innocently. "I'm just learning so much about you lately Blaine. First about all the bendy sex, now walking around in the buff and sending Kurt sexy pictures – I never knew you were so kinky."

"And to think," Artie added with a dramatic sigh. "Just last year he was still a blushing virgin. Look at him now."

"They grow up so fast!" Sam said, clasping one hand on Artie's shoulder and one on his heart as he pretended to choke up.

Blaine responded by grabbing the first thing he could find in his locker (which turned out to be a comb) and promptly throwing it at Sam's head.


End file.
